Third fill = pain.
Yes, pain, finally. I called my mom in little-girl tears.
I took pain meds for the first time in...weeks. It hurt to breathe. I heard myself moaning all night. By morning, I still hurt, but by afternoon, I was fine. 24 hours and it was like it never happened. Except now...I have a little projection. Went out for dinner with a girlfriend, even. Did a little work on the big diss.
I get this pain over my heart that used to be the weight of my breasts. Imagine that muscle stretching. Every movement, every inhale. Remember me? it said. I do now!
It's over now but it's been a hell of a weekend. A FORCE meeting today almost an hour out of town. I'm annoyed that all of the Philadelphia meetings have been in the 'burbs. I write about access, do research on access...the availability of information and support, and the last meetings have been an hour out from the city. Is this inclusive, really, if I have to give up two hours just driving each time?
But I'm going- I know I need to go. Need to have someone tell me that this is only a moment and this will pass and at some point I will stop feeling like something in me is broken.
13
