Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Have you ever left the doctor's office feeling like someone kicked you in the face?

That was my pre-op appointment.

The goal of this, I thought, was to check my vitals and go through paperwork for my mastectomy.  Instead, I had two full- fledged exams in which it was discovered that my blood pressure is high. Too high. 

Stress? check
Overweight? check
Processed or salty food? (not so much)
Sedentary lifestyle? (Yes, I sit in a library all day. But no, I exercise vigorouslsy 4-5 times per week.)

So I had my second medical shocker for 2011: bitch you have to get on BP meds.  Before.Your.Surgery. In less than a month.  As if your ass needed another thing to stress about.

{jacket- old; top, belt-jcrew; jeans-levis; booties-matisse 'nugent'}


Awesome.

I felt fat and mad at myself. This was exacerbated by a phone call from my pops, who' shared that he was recently rushed to the emergency room for stroke-like blood pressure.

But-I don't "do" powerless. 15 pounds in a year is great, but a pound a week would be even better. 

So I made a decision: no more waiting.  It's now. I'm going to have to transition from fitness-only to weight loss.



People. Thank God I never said I have all of the answers, cause if I had I'd be eating crow.

***I remain true to the fact that I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing, that psychologically I could possibly be doing this to exert some control in a life dominated by the out-of-control feeling of trying to Get it Done the same semester as a major surgeryTranslation: I could be a damn fool, but hey, at least I'm still learning.***

xoxo,
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