Friday, June 03, 2011

Quickie: Again

After deciding on Wednesday to rest for a week or so, I battled feeling as if I'd given up.  See, for me running isn't just running.  It's that thing I could never do.  So stopping felt a lot like failure.

I have failed at weight loss before.  What I know about nutrition and exercise could fill a book.  That said, this go round, an older, wiser me has decided that I have to do this for life.  Which means that I have to love it: from the food I'm eating to the exercise that's burning fat, I have to love it, at least at first, to make this enough of a habit for a lifestyle change. And my lifestyle, pretty healthy in most ways, has to change. It's uncomfortable.

{dress, slip- robert rodriguez}

I have punished myself with diet and exercise for years.  I very likely was on the fringes of an eating disorder, and most certainly had a miserable relationship with food.  Feeling passionate about exercise has made my relationship with food secondary, allowing me to truly, truly feel as if this whole journey is about health. I believe continued weight loss will come once I put all of the parts together.

I'm stressed. Work is overwhelming and there are lots of puzzles with this research I' haven't figured out yet. I couldn't add being a quitter to that too. 

So this morning, I ran.  I stretched for nearly an hour first, and then I ran.  It was like those early days of running: energy. exhilaration. boundary- pushing. And even though I ran (much) slower, I finished without pain.

{shoes, accessories- anthro}

happy, happy, happy weekending,
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