Dieting is weird. You put yourself on this "plan" that is supposed to "work." But the fact of the matter is that you truly have little control over how quickly you lose or how much. And so eating/journaling food/exercise becomes bothersome, or "diet behaviors" (read: compulsive behaviors) enter the picture.
I have never lost weight slowly before, so I am dealing with a few new factors this time around. For one, I am losing at a rate of about a pound a week, so if I mess up I can set myself back months. I haven't messed up too badly, but sometimes the thought of extending this already long journey is all that keeps me from the cheese fries. And I don't even like cheese fries!
Which brings me to another issue: stress eating. Quite frankly, on a plan...you can't do it. Which means actually dealing with some really uncomfortable feelings. With recent stressful news, I have observed myself simultaneously craving seemingly contradictory things: more exercise and more rest, more time with people and more time alone.
At another point in my life I'd have added another activity to take my mind off of things- sat on a committee or started a new project. But now I have cleared the space to let myself feel: shock, relief...whatever. And that means my current work has slowed some...sometimes I feel guilty about that, but I let myself feel that as well. It is challenging, and the workaholic me hovers just near, frowning her disapproval.
Anyhoo. I'm still here and still plugging away with good results: down 8 pounds, down one size, with blood pressure readings back in a normal range (which I now suspect had more to do with new allergy meds than my weight).
Weight loss, week 9: measurements in lieu of weighing this week
Total loss: -8